Ever wonder if you’re actually in charge? Find yourself planning to do one thing and then ‘deciding’ to do something completely different when the actual moment rolls around?
Are you constantly reacting to your life rather than directing it? Led by other people’s agendas and demands rather than your own?
Do you commit to things and then fail to follow through?
Are you the kind of person that does what they say they are going to do?
Can you trust your own word? 🙌
Don’t worry if this skill is a bit ropey, this technique will help you build that muscle 💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼
This is a technique I just re-learned to begin harnessing the power of our minds, to take control of our time, and get the things that matter done each day. OH, and to build rock-solid integrity and trust in our number one relationship, the one we have with ourselves!
The best bit is, you can start TONIGHT!
☝️ Still very confused about where the camera is 😂 Having two cameras across different devices clearly not helping an already confused me. I’ll work on it!
Who is Steering the Ship?
Before we dive into calendar integrity and why it matters, let’s look at the two distinct aspects of ourselves that are wresting to take control of the steering wheel.
The Monkey Brain
👉🏻 All about avoiding discomfort and maximising pleasure and gratification RIGHT NOW!
👉🏻 Short-term thinking, unable (or unwilling!) to think past the present few minutes or hours
👉🏻 Maturity of a toddler. Or Homer Simpson. Or indeed, a monkey 🐒
👉🏻 In action looks a lot like – lying on the coach, with a margarita and a pizza, and some chocolate, watching back to back episodes of netflix
The most powerful, advanced, addition to our brain. What makes us human, where all our potential lies.
👉🏻 Can take a long-term view and assess what’s best for us over the longhaul
👉🏻 understands the value of delayed-gratification
👉🏻 short-term sacrifice for long-term gain is the name of the gain
👉🏻 willing to lean into discomfort now for increased comfort and wellbeing later
👉🏻 In action looks a lot like – writing out a great plan for getting your health on track, your weight under control and finances in check. It’s not going to be easy hitting the gym, not eating the cake and not jumping on all those impulse buys, BUT, your pre-frontal cortex can see the carrot at the end of the stick, that it’ll all be worth it and better for you in the long run.
The problem is we end up with a Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde situation where our more evolved brain lays out these amazing plans, but then when it comes to implementing them, our monkey brain is like – er – no thanks. And then we go round and round and round in this here loop.
Enter the simple practice of calendar integrity to step out of this madness and start to make progress…
Calendar integrity is the simple practice of building your capacity to use your pre-frontal cortex to run your life-show, rather than living from the reactive-monkey-mind.
This practice is simple, and transparent. You can see each day who is running the show, depending on what you do and don’t do.
Here’s the practice.
Plan your day at least the night before, a good 12-24 hours in advance. Schedule in your calender/diary exactly what you want to get done the next day. Include the most important things like self-care: meditating, walking, taking a lunch break etc….
Do what you said you were going to do!
Don’t do a heap of stuff you didn’t say you were going to do (unless you got all the stuff you committed to done and you fancy getting brownie points)
Celebrate your awesomeness (very important – you need to be your own cheerleader!)
Lather, rinse, repeat.
Top Tips for Implementation
💗 Start small: I can’t stress this enough. When we commit to doing more than we can do, and we fail to pull it off, we lose confidence and trust in ourselves. When we commit to doing a small amount, and we follow through and execute, we build trust and self-integrity. We prove to ourselves that we are the kind of person who says we’re going to do something, and then actually bloody-well-does it! This feels good. This builds momentum. We can build on this slowly.
💗 Schedule the really important stuff like exercising, taking time to prepare healthy foods for yourself, time to meditate etc…
💗 Build lots of buffer space to begin with, give yourself twice as long as you think you’ll need and commit to half as much as you think you can achieve – make it easy and do-able…
💗 When you get an urge or impulse to go off track….i.e. you said you were going to save and see something you MUST BUY NOW.. add the thing to a wishlist to reviewed at a later time when you’re safely out of monkey-mind zone. Feel the urge or impulse for 10 minutes…let it pass. Give yourself a sticker, or pretty marble in a jar to visually show your progress through these impulses and urges. 100 urges experience and not acted on = a changed you = a new you.
Do you practice this already? Or another version? Let me know how you find it!
“Rule your mind, or it will rule you”
Essential Oils for Building Trust and Confidence
Brooke Castillo’s awesome podcast, the Life Coach School Podcast
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